Saturday, May 21, 2005

This Is Not A Test


This is a Swamp Cooler Failure Notification.

Your Swamp Cooler has failed. The last twelve years of meticulous rebuilding, component replacement, and finicky adjustment have come to naught.

There is no tray remaining to coat with submarine paint. Your new pillow blocks from two years ago are corroded junk - as is the squirrel cage axle that was last produced in 1975.

Your electric motor that is signed "Thomas Edison" retains collector value only because, dude, that's like his REAL signature...

It's time to do your part for the economy. Time for a trip to Loewes and to place a few phone calls to friends who aren't already at the lake or engaged in their own honey-do activities.


Now you know what I'm doing today.

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